Post 3: Positivity and Trust

“Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to justice.”
-Charles F. Glassman

The worst things in the world are people. People are unpredictable, hard to trust and even harder to keep. Coincidentally, the best things in life are, you guessed it, people. Its no mystery that I have a pretty small “tribe” as people like to call it. I can count the number of friends I have on one hand with ease. To some that’s a problem, but I know that at any point in time, those 5 people would help me at the drop of a hat. They would be there without question to make sure that I was taken care of. But people are still the worst.

My first interaction with people I generally want to trust them. I want them to be the best person there is and I don’t usually expect them to turn their backs on me. But The Hardest thing about the expectation, is that it is rarely met. Trusting someone means being able to tell them anything, trusting that they will support you and inform you when they shouldn’t. Trusting someone means knowing that they are defending you when you aren’t around. It means being able to vent to them and they won’t use it as fuel in your destruction. Trust is not a finite resource, it is never-ending and should go on even after the relationship has passed. But that happens rarely, and usually only with lots of bumps and bruises on the way. Trusting too easily can get you in as much trouble as not trusting at all. People take advantage of the trust you are willing to give them, people use it as a door into your weaknesses. They use it as a away to break you down and put them on their level. Not everyone, but the ones that don’t, are the ones that deserve your whole life and whole dedication. Once you find those ones, you know you have found your true “tribe”.

Recently I have had some interactions with people surrounding me that make you wonder, why? Why are people so nasty? Is it because it is easier to make others feel inferior than it is to uplift people? Is it easier to make people question their worth than it is to evaluate their own? By no means am I saying that I am a perfect person. I can be mean, I say things out of reaction a lot of the time, and I tend to be a little bit moody. A lot of times my immediate reaction is anger or hurt, which also results in anger, but the most beneficial advice I have ever received is give it 24 hours to react. If something makes you upset, or hurt, or sad or mad or angry, give it 24 hours before you react. Honestly, it is one of the few things that has helped me change my attitude toward life.

If 24 hours pass and you still feel as passionately about the situation as you did initially, then by all means, react. Say what’s on your mind and make your voice heard. But if 24 hours pass and you’re not even sure what the issue was, than you will be glad you waited. In those 24 hours you will find clarity, you will absolutely find the true reason the situation triggered that reaction from deep inside you. This is true in love, in hate, in joy and in sorrow. While your initial reaction may be true, it won’t be what’s best for the situation you are in.

Which brings me back to positivity. We live in a world surrounded by sad headlines, pain and sorrow. We live in a world that is so keen on making sure that they are on top, they forget to help anyone up with them. While I know I am not perfect, I choose not to go out of my way to make myself better than anyone else. I choose not to go out of my way to make people miserable. I’ll be the first to admit that I could be better about making people feel better about themselves, but I know that at least I’m not making sure people are miserable around me. I am a work in progress, just as everyone should be. Once we feel we are untouchable and at perfection, is exactly when we start falling behind and failing as a community. It doesn’t cost you anything to simply be nice. It could cost someone else everything with one comment.